How Good Relationships Can Lead to Better Health

This past year has emphasized the necessity of social interactions, our longing for in-person hangouts, and the critical impact relationships have on both our mental health and wellbeing. While spending my final semester of senior year Zoom-ing at home, I find myself reminiscing on the glorious days before the pandemic. The memories of countless birthday surprises in dorm rooms and game nights crammed in mini study halls leave me with bitter-sweet sentiment. I’ll recall the years when my friends and I frantically rushed to visit every touristy venue in San Francisco during the "Weekender", a classic USC tradition. Or feel nostalgic of impromptu 12 a.m. McDonald drive-throughs for vanilla soft serve and fries, my best friend in the driver seat cranking "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé on full blast, dignity and pride flying out the windows. I'm suspecting that even introverts are recognizing the need for more than their bed and a Netflix account.

According to the Harvard Health Publishing,

Social connections like these not only give us pleasure, they also influence our long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking. Dozens of studies have shown that people who have social support from family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.

The Instagram likes and tagged Facebook memes are surface level soothing mechanisms for our deeper desire for intimate connections. We yearn for meaningful, stable, in-the-flesh relationships that are more than a friendly chat with the cashier at Trader Joe’s. The need to fill our empty reservoir of face-to-face interactions is reflected in buzz-worthy images and common hardships: elderly couples safely divided by plastic wrap so they can hold hands, people sharing their struggles quarantining alone, and the gradual drift from friends and family after extended periods of social distancing.

With drawn-out time at home, stripped of the endless surge of outside commitments and pressure to constantly hustle, I decided to embrace this unique opportunity to re-prioritize my health and personal growth. As a Type Three Enneagram (The Achiever), I made goals to work out five times a week, eat mostly whole fruits and vegetables (except for the occasional pizza and ice cream for my mental health), take peaceful morning walks with my dog, stretch my lower back...etc. The list goes on and on.

I was doing everything I thought necessary for a happy and healthy life. Yet, there was a gentle nagging that I was still missing something. It wasn’t until I listened to The Science of Integrative Medicine by Dr. Bauer and learned about the four pillars of health (nutrition, exercise, stress-management, and social relationships) that I realized the missing puzzle piece: a vibrant social life and intimate friendships. The more time I spent away from my phone, the harder and harder it was to remain connected with my friends and loved ones, especially as someone who prefers in-person hangouts.

The Journal of Health and Social Behavior under the American Sociological Association revealed the drawbacks of having few social connections and the lack of meaningful relationships:

Several recent review articles provide consistent and compelling evidence linking a low quantity or quality of social ties with a host of conditions, including development and progression of cardiovascular disease, recurrent myocardial infarction, atherosclerosis, autonomic dysregulation, high blood pressure, cancer and delayed cancer recovery, and slower wound healing. Poor quality and low quantity of social ties have also been associated with inflammatory biomarkers and impaired immune function, factors associated with adverse health outcomes and mortality.

This doesn’t just apply to young, social, extroverted college students. When I told my mom about the benefits of social ties and the risks linked with a lack of strong relationships, her eyebrows furrowed. She didn’t realize the steady decline in the quality and strength of her friendships and social circle. As a single mother, she sacrificed much of her personal time to take care of my brother and me. Over time, due to work and other obligations, she gradually drifted away from her college and childhood friends. I’m sure she's not the only parent, or even person, who's dealt with this.

Usually when we discuss health and wellness, we focus on our eating habits, weekly gym sessions, or hot yoga classes to release our tension and anxiety. But often, we fail to comprehend and recognize the profound influence of companionship on our well-being and how strong social connections can add happiness, meaning, and even longevity to our life.

So this is your reminder to call your best friend, schedule a video chat with your squad, or have a safe, socially distant picnic in the park (the perks of sunny L.A.). Make it your mission this week to spend some designated quality time with your family, or whoever you’re living with, without phones, the TV or any other distractions. And as you’re actively nurturing or re-establishing these meaningful relationships, you could even throw in the cheesy but sentimental saying, “Hey, thank you for making me a better person.”